January 31st, 2012

The one thing I'll definitely leave here with is that Bill got me hooked on Once Upon a Time. That new ABC series. I love it!
DAMN YOU BILL!
I still haven't turned on the TV but am watching it online.

New ballet teacher on Monday. Irene, a Russian, old school style. Took me right back to SAB. Tough but loving. I kinda dug revisiting that whole deal without the teenage angst. HARD class......

Katja came in very ill so Brigel had to learn and go into Whole. He is FAST. I mean I pride myself on being a quick study but he learned Katja's theme and then started layering systems on it and playing with the other dancers almost immediately. Very cool. Very impressive. Bill was tense at first but when he saw how fast Brigel was assuming into the fabric of Whole he relaxed.

The new piece Stellentstellen continues to come together.

Bill added a new element yesterday. He called it Naming the Abyss. David Hern sings this quasi country song he wrote and refers to a book that tells you how to do everything. In this case it's choreography.

He instructed David to stand on center and physicalize what the books voice would be and had dancers making "offerings" from down stage diagonals. It was really cool. The way David clicked into exactly what Bill meant and delivered. As soon as David began I got it.

From that point on the sequence of the piece remained relatively in tact and he started playing with more "framing"

At one point he had the entire company on stage just triangulating and framing each other. They did it for like a half hour and I could have watched it all night. Constantly taking cues from each other and moving at just the right time and at the right pace. Using time, texture and intent so beautifully.

It's really quite like Paul's posture studies like Epic but Bill is coming to it in his own way and with his own tools. I mean if you look at Bill's evolution as a choreographer from his very early Crankoesque ballets to Love Songs then what I call the hyperballets and tanztheater pieces to Isabelle's Dance to what he's doing now one can still see his own origins and yet it's come so far. I know some people want the "old" Bill but I'm so in love with this evolution. I think people like to have things just familiar enough so that they think they have some sort of ownership of it. Some proprietary claim. That's BS. Let artists grow and change and venture. Otherwise we'd all still be looking at Petipa and that's all. Just because someone might be going down a road that you don't understand or care for it doesn't make you look any less intelligent. We're not trying to make a fool out of you, we just want to see what's around the corner.

OK back to Once Upon a Time.

Later.

January 29th, 2012

Ah Sunday. I can't believe this is my last week here.

Rehearsals have been going late and I'm up early to do my morning pages so I haven't done the blog for a couple of days.


Friday Bill kept on going in the same direction. Weaving the opening opening sequence. They worked until 9:30pm. Then I went for dinner at Amancio's place. His boyfriend Jans made a delicious three course meal. An amuse bouch of scallops on fennel with a basil sauce, then cream of broccoli soup and then halibut cooked in foil with red potatoes and green beans. A friend of theirs named Renata was there and Christine Kono the ballet teacher. We had a fun conversation about how the Germans call what the rest of the world calls endive, chicoree and vice versa. She seemed to think that it was just American's who called endive, endive but it turns out that the Germans are the ones who are mistaken because Amancio and Christine pointed out that the Spanish and the French are with the Americans. It was a fun conversation. Renata was also under the impression that Americans call all types of mushrooms just mushrooms. That we don't differentiate between say, Crimini, Portabello, oyster, Shitake etc. but I put her right about that. Funny how we all have these misconceptions. Fir instance I've always thought that the Germans as a whole were sort of cool and rigid. That they didn't take peoples feelings into consideration so much but spending a month here I find that it's just the opposite. In my experience this trip the Germans that I have met are very considerate of how they make other people feel. At least the one's that I've come into contact here. Actually very sensitive people. Once again I'm making a generalization but it's a facet of the German psyche that I have either ignored or just have been blind to because it's pretty apparent everywhere.

Yesterday, Saturday, Bill first worked on Whole in the Head (I've been misspelling it) until lunch. I really like the piece.

Then he made a shift in the new piece. He got back to the tangles. The simplicity of the tangles. The piece which had become a little frenetic suddenly shifted into low gear and morphed into this very sublime contemplative work. If I were to walk into this sequence of this piece with no prior knowledge I wouldn't immediately recognize it as "Forsythe". Bravo for Bill and I mean BRAVE. He didn't say as much but people, including myself come to expect things from artists and if you shift and don't give them what they're expecting they may turn on you. Christine Kono and I were agreeing that the public and especially the critics want to see something just familiar enough so they don't feel stupid or something. Another huge lesson from Bill. Keep asking questions of yourself. Don't just do what it is "you do". The best thing about all of these lessons is that Bill isn't preaching to me or being pedantic in any way. He's teaching by true example. He is a natural born teacher and that is sometimes a rare thing in a choreographer. Many don't have any interest in teaching. I'm not just talking about dance or composition but about life. Paul Taylor, although he probably would deny it, is one of the best teachers I've ever known. The truly great one's are always asking questions. Often asking the same questions over and over digging ever deeper.


I'm starting to itch to come home and get started on the next piece. At the end of last week I was sad because I was half way through my stay but today I am looking forward to coming home.

January 26th Bockenheimer Depot

My calf felt better today so I took Christine's wonderful class up through adage in center. It felt good to move again. I know it had only been one day but as I said before the experience here has made me hungry to move again. I had truly thought that was all done. It just goes to show that one should never count oneself out. We create our own reality.

Today Bill really started to put together a "concrete" sequence.

He noticed me taking copious notes yesterday and asked me to help remember what he liked and where.

Even with this wonderful software that David Kearns has created called Piecemaker and the dramaturg, Freya, it's still hard to keep track.

I completely understand having been in the same position many times. And I don't have the pressure of having to make a piece by WILLIAM FORSYTHE. I can't imagine the weight of being a Paul Taylor or William Forsythe. Everybody waiting for you to blow their minds. Others waiting and wanting to see you fail. I'm glad he feels comfortable using me and I'm more than happy to be of service. Being at the front of the room can be a very lonely place even when you are working with people whom you dearly love and who love and want to support you. Quite a way of life that some are compelled to trudge through.

So they/we worked until 6:30 with a lunch break from 2ish to 3ish.

Bill worked on a duet with Brigel and Esther until lunch and then set to work on sequencing the piece. He found a sequence that seemed to be working for him up to a certain point and then they had an evening break from 6:30 to 7:30.

At 7:30 we were back and Bill shared a Youtube video called Quatre Fromage. Really sweet and funny. I recommend it. Watch the solo first then the quartet, and that's all I'll say. It was a good laugh.

Apres Quatre Fromage they ran what they had and Bill made some minor changes, all the while relying on Freya for cues as to what came next and giving me notes. Some were qualitative for the dancers and others were for him such as "work on this transition" or "option for an insert here".

By 9pm the dancers, who are so wonderful and earnest in their support had really had it. I could see their eyes glazing over. It was time to stop.

It was late coming home and I realized that I didn't have anything in the fridge to make for dinner but thankfully the mini market in the Ubahn station was open and I got some bratwurst and frozen french fries and had a typical German meal. It was yummy. I've been so good about being on salad since before Angel Reapers and the brats and fries were awesome. I haven't made frozen fries in the states in years. I wonder if they've become as good as these. They didn't used to be. Or maybe it's the same principle that makes me think that Coca Cola tastes better here. Ooh! Maybe I'll have a Coke tomorrow. Wow! It's come to Coca Cola being a big indulgence. You've come a long way baby!

January 25th back at the Bockenheimer Depot

Yesterday was my birthday so I took an evening off of blogging. Alan Barnes an old friend and former Ballet Frankfurt member came for dinner and we had a good laugh and a nice talk. He lives upstairs from Tony so his commute was quick.

Yesterday was just more playtime in the studio. Bill talked about "shearing" another technology for improvising movement. The piece really started taking shape with Thom Willems in the room.

I strained my left calf in class, on a scale on 1-5 it's about a 1.2. In other words if I was in a situation where I had to perform it would be possible with a minimum of modification to the choreography. Nonetheless it was painful and difficult to walk normally but I was so embarrassed that I hid it very well. I just walked out of the petit allegro combination as if I had just felt like I had done enough. I massaged it on a ball all day and stimmed it with my handy little portable stim machine (never leave home without it) and today it was much better.

So today we were back at the depot and the stage space has been opened up both width and depth wise so it's now about twice as big as it was. Which was big enough to begin with. I love the change. It exposes iron I beam girder/pillars that sort of act as wings in a way.

I opted out of class but took the opportunity to write down Christine's class as best I could so I can incorporate some of her exercises and ideas into my ballet class. It was great just to sit and watch class.

In the upstage part of the space the "Hole in the Head" people worked on getting that piece back.

Bill worked downstage with the material for the new piece weaving it together in a sequence that I'm not sure is truly set in his mind. He really got down to business making notes on a legal pad. He made a sort of grid to keep track of who had contact and material with whom.

Thom is taking his cues from the dancers and the process seems totally organic. Thom and Bill seem to read each others minds. Watching them work together is a revelation. For a moment I thought, "This must be how it was with Stravinsky and Balanchine" but then it occurred to me that no, "This is what it IS like to be in the room with Willems and Forsythe. What a privilege to be present while, in my humble opinion, one the greatest composers and one of the greatest choreographers in history are creating together. They are unique and yet enhance each other. Their egos, at least in this instance, seem to meld into one or no ego. Their admiration and respect for each other is constantly apparent and they have fun. Two young guys playing. Heaped upon that their respect and love for the dancers who are banging out great work after great work. I am witnessing one of the great collaborative efforts ever! Oh! And also Mara, Jenny, Ulf, Dorothee and dirk with the technical aspects: sound, video, lighting and costumes. Witnessing this group play together is what it's all about!

After lunch Bill worked a while longer and then let almost everyone go but kept a few to work on a quartet. He wants an easy almost "marked" quality to it. To get the idea across he asked Roberta to just mark through some very familiar material..."Stuff from Duo." (one of the pieces that Bill took off the program. Thom started playing something that went with it. "Ooh ooh, Pari get in here" then he had Brigel join because they all know Duo. Riley had already left. It was just shear luck that Pari was still there. It really worked. Who knows if it will stay but it's definitely a jumping off point.

Bill's quote for the day.

"Don't be afraid to let things reveal themselves. Sometimes it (the subject) doesn't come until the end."

F...ing awsome day!

January 23rd, 2012

I received emails from Thierry and Christine this morning that we would be back at the studio on Schmidtstrasse today.

Bill has decided to change the program and put a piece called Hole in the Head on instead of The The, Duo and Nuo.

This means re-configuring the Depot.

The program as it stand now will be Hole in the Head and Point of View (Stellentstellen).
So we had class at the studio. There was a beautiful young dancer named Sally in class. She trained at Lines and she has really good energy. I look forward to seeing her tomorrow.

After class the company got to work on getting Hole back and those who weren't in Hole got to work on their tangles for Stellen.

I didn't bring lunch stuff so I went to the Italian place called Nadine's which is across the street from the studio. Much of the company was there because they didn't bring food due to the location change. It was a nice family meal with Katja, Jone, Josh, Silas (from Cunningham), Cyril, Thierry, Bill, Freya and me.

It was nice to sit down and have a meal together.

After lunch people got back to work and Bill worked with Cyril and Jone on their snapping and mapping duet out of which came a really great triangulation spacial exercise that started with bill, Cyril and Jone. Then Bill had three other dancer try it to find out what question he was really asking. It was a triangulation framing thing with two "framers" or "guards" framing another person doing a tangle. The framers have to be in agreement in facing and the tangle person can change the subject from them to the framers by removing them self and going somewhere outside the frame, or not.

Then he tried it with three framer on one tangle and it didn't really work.

Then he added two more groups of three working independently in the space plus Yasu as sort of an interruption who no one was triangulating off of but who was triangulating himself off of the others.

It really worked, especially from up and away. I went up onto the landing of the steps into the studio to get some distance. it seemed to create an...algorithm I guess?

All the while the dancers questioned Bill and the exercise not to be difficult but to dig deeper. It became about relationships. geometric, human and metaphysical.

While I was up on the stairs I could see that this related perfectly to the piece but couldn't put my finger on how. Then Bill said, "It's just the same as the point to point work that we were doing but on a larger scale." Ta dah!

OH!

Thom Willems, the composer showed up today! So exciting. To be in the room while Bill and he are composing was phphphphphphphphphphenomenal.

I don't know if it's what they'll end up with but Thom was playing this sound. At first it was barely noticeable but then you realized that it was going on. It seemed like a memory that kept coming back again and again.

Near the end Bill said "The music sounds cool." and Thom said "Yeah, I was seeing how many ways you can play the same sound."

Another great day.

January 20th, 2012

It's weird to write 2012. Really? It's 2012? When did that happen? I remember reading 1984 in 1983. Or thinking about the year 2010 in 1976. It has a nice ring to it twenty twelve. It's the double tw. Anyway.

Day 2 (ooh another tw) at the Bockenheimer depot.

 Once again class was great. I feel like my old, and I mean OLD, dancing self again.


Bill started with the new piece. Trying to put together what seems to be a group section. Let me try and run through all the variations they layered.

Using :
12 points of contact from a "tangle" with a partner.
Dropping points
Collapsing points
Going to points
Bringing points
Mapping
Inverse Kinematic
Locomotion
Torque limits
Surface approaches
Following

Original
Starting with your parnter after finishing three points of contact you move to another person. After moving to four people you follow the person with whom you had the least contact.

Remember who you had contact with and where.

#2
Choose your own order depending on who is furthest away from you as to where you go in space first and do the exercise.

#3
Make your own rule.
Who was the last person on your right?
Who was the person midway between the 1st person and yourself?
Etc..
Do the exercise.

#4
Turn to what direction you think you approached someone.
Approach the spacial form in the facing that you end up in on the next person.
Do the exercise.

#5
Condense the whole thing to a small space still trying to accomplish the exercise.

#6
Back to the original

#7
Now back to facing changes but skip ahead on part of the sequence and locomote by skipping.

#8
Add two "stork" poses with all of that.

PHEW!

Some things worked some didn't but no one gave up. They just kept trying. They are amazing!!!

Then lunch.

After lunch Bill worked on the new trio which now is entitled Newo.

He put on Bach's concerto for Two Violins in D Minor. They played with some spacial stuff and put the Bach back on. And with replacing a leg with an arm or vice versa 1/2 the time.

It was pretty magical at points.

Then they worked on a little tendu fugue.

Then they were done.

Another great day.

January 19th, 2012

Day 1 at the Bockenheimer Depot.

It feels a little odd to say that today was simply one of the best days of my life.

It started out by running into Liz from the Forsythe company on the Ubahn. It was nice to have a brief chat outside of the studio.

I'd never been to the Depot before and upon entering the performance space I was awash with with the organic nature of the space. A defunct train station it is now a performance space. The most beautiful blend of industry, history and contemporary art I've ever witnessed. Huge arching wooden beams support the soaring chunky yet graceful roof. it can be configured any number of ways. It has been set up as a "regular stage space" for this production. It reminded me a bit of La Mama.

I took Christine kono's wonderful class and then waited for the fun to begin.

While waiting I checked my email and got the news that my friend Bryant who went into the hospital shortly before I left for Frankfurt died this morning. My hearts sank at first and I shed a tear but then I was filled with such gratitude for him. If it wasn't for Bryant inviting me into a group to work through the Artist's Way, I would never have had the courage to come here and take this month with this amazing company. I will miss my friend but do truly believe that he is in a much more vivid place. This physical plane as in all others is just a stop over. Bryant will always be young and strong and handsome. Grief is ultimately selfish and I must remember to be happy that he is free. Let it go. Let him go.

The rehearsal started with Duo. Two casts ran it. One female and one male. I've seen this perfect jewel of a work a number of times but being here the last two weeks and watching it being rehearsed has been amazing. The vocabulary, the composition and musicality are impeccable.
Both casts are in my opinion phenomenal. Roberta Mosca and Parvaneh (Pari) Scharafali are the women and Riley Watts and Brigel Gjoka the men. I can't go on enough about how these people move. Artists of the highest caliber. Weaving their way through this intricate duet with such skill and understanding and sense of discover with every single movement. I can't wait to see it grow as we move towards the performances. Bravo Allison Brown for rehearsing it so well.

After Duo there was a lunch break. I brought sandwich makings to save money but ventured outside to the farmer's market across the street to buy some broccoli to go with my dinner tonight. Love European markets.

After lunch I took a seat behind Bill. The rest of the day flowed pretty organically. Bill had some dancers come on stage and start doing some of the tangled structures they've been working on. He was getting the lighting just right to have the "plasticity" see the shapes best. Then he started to compose. It was fucking amazing. Seemingly with ease he started to structure the piece. There was laughter and intense concentration from the dancers waiting for his cue to go on stage and begin one of their sequences. Bill came and sat next to me and it was just us sitting and hmming and chuckling or Bill would softly sing the praises of someone dancing. I love the timber or his voice. it reminds me of my Philip. I was at times transported back more than twenty years ago listening to Philip and Bill just being silly or having serious discussions that were so far over my head at the time. I think that's why Bill always feels like home to me.

The hours flew by for me. I could watch what he and his dancers were doing my entire life. I am so terribly lucky.

Thank you Bryant and my Artist Way colleagues for helping me unlock the courage to come here. I have had a pretty amazing life and this truly was one of theeeeee best days ever. Oh yeah and thank you Bill.

January 17th, 2012

Today I dug in deeper working on my own to understand some of these objects or technologies. I did make progress. I worked with another guest Sky who's a student from Bennington on a "tangle" duet which is the starting point for the more complex modalities. We got through about half of what we need to. I suppose we'll get through the rest tomorrow. It was truly parallel play day. Bill went from place to place in the room working with people on their duets. It was lunch before I knew it.
After lunch there was more parallel play and at about 6pm Bill went into organization mode. He started to organize a sequence from all the things that they've worked on since November. His recall of things that made an impression upon him is amazing. While organizing the sequence Bill still left room for chance occurrences. A group of dancers standing and watching here, two ideas in close proximity there. People were still encouraged to play but with more attention to what Bill might say. Pretty phenomenal.
We go into the theater on Thursday and I take it that's where things usually really take on more sequence and structure.
My body feels good this week. I feel that I'm really getting back into shape. I want to keep it. I feel more supple and relaxed and of course I have no pain in my shoulders for the first time since 1997.
She's Back!
I finished The Hunger Games trilogy just before writing this.
Loved it!
On to the next book The Artist, the Philosopher and the Warrior.
I haven't turned on the TV once since I've been here and really don't miss it.
My gratitude list for today,
My sobriety
My family
My friends
My cats
My home
Paul
Bill
This apartment
My yummy breakfast
coffee
Jeff
Dean
the Internet
My board
Bill's dancers

Patrick's Month in Frankfurt

1/16/12
Today was another amazing day in the studio. It started with Bill working on a trio based on what looks like a solo on which he's been working. He was talking about the relationship of the middle finger to the base of the palm and how that informed the rest of the arm, the back and son on. Going to the nth degree without muscling it. All is informed by a sensation. Similar to what I talk about when teaching class but articulated in a much more succinct manner. The solo seems to be full of balletic principles. I love rediscovering the balletic part of my movement.

Then he was on to the other new piece. It looks like this will be a group piece based on the "unfamiliar" concept that they've been working on since before Christmas.
The "workshop" today started with an idea that Roberta and Cyril were working on about torque limits. Taking an extremity in a direction just to the point that you'd have to move something else to go any further. Then that morphed into dropping and collapsing points, on which Bill gave a mini workshop, than into inverse kinematics, again Bill gave a mini workshop, then mapping, them following and locomotion. All at the same time keeping in mind the "unfamiliar". Then he had the entire group minus the three dancers working on the trio do an exercise. Combining all of those objects or systems with a few rules about changing partners and moving in space and proximity. I was right in there with the company and one other guest. I felt very sheepish and timid and self conscious. I was over thinking and so BSing my way through much of the time bit the light bulb did go off here and there but then I was back to having too many choices. I tend to get a dial tone when I have too many choices but i did my best and really was digesting and attempting to disseminate a lot of new information. I didn't feel judged at all. Everyone here knows I'm not looking for a job, just knowledge. Still as a dancer I want to become an expert immediately and that's not the point. That's actually the opposite of what we are trying to accomplish. There's nothing expert about the unfamiliar.

After the rest of the company left Bill worked some more on the trio. Watching and listening to him craft is amazing. He knows so much but doesn't block himself. It's the perfect balance of plan, focus and curiosity. Of course luck and chance seem to play a role but you have to be open to that stuff. He's exacting but not rigid.

It was just after 7:30 that he called it a day.


Love him. Love his dancers. Love life.

Frankfurt with The Forsythe Company

Friday 1/13/12
I'm emailing some of you this blog. Please pass it on to whomever you may think would be interested.
Elizabeth Dement pointed out to me that my updates from Frankfurt are a blog so I've started one officially.
Below this entry are the two previous updates about my trip to Frankfurt.
Today Bill continued to work with the "unfamiliar". Layering objects or systems upon each other. I've decided to basically shadow him and he' seems to be open and generously inviting about it. The things he says either directly to me or talking to the dancers are exactly what I need to hear.
"Don't throw anything out. The original always has value."
"As a choreographer I must question my own motives or habits or preferences. Does it make sense or have value just because I like it?"
"Curate the mental state not the movement."
etc...
I keep forgetting to mention that here are several other guests in the studio.
All young dancers from various places. 5 or 6 from Juillard and 2 from Bennington. How wonderful it is to be with such young dancers taking these chances together.
This week was beyond amazing!
I am so grateful to Bill and his wonderful company and my fellow guests.
More tomorrow.

Monday 1/9/12
Well I arrived in Frankfurt no problem. Checked into the flat in which I'm staying the first 2 weeks. It's great! Couldn't be more perfect. Young friendly gay guy, nice flat, walking distance to the studio with a big cheap grocery store right across the street.
I got to the studio just in time for their lunch break which was kind of perfect because it gave Bill and I a chance to catch up.
I love him. He's so easy to talk to and so caring.
The studio is huge. Warehousey.
After Bill and I talked he went to eat and I warmed up.
They work just the way we do. He starts with an idea and then they play while he walks around checking from all angles and bugs them with suggestions. A lot of laughter and fun. Three of the dancers were in another corner working on rep while everyone else takes a bit of space to play on their own. I didn't jump in today because I wanted to feel the vibe. They all seem totally cool with me being there and are all very friendly.
I felt like I was with you guys. Right at home.
His basic idea was to get yourself into a sort of "knot" and work with that. The idea is that you yourself are not sure which of your hands is touching or holding which body part or extremity. Solos become duos, duos become trios, etc.....
Absolutely everything is videoed with a big camera at the front and everyone's iphones from every angle.
It's up to the dancers to make the video person aware when they are either starting a new idea or they have something that seems interesting.
Questions and answers through movement no wrong answers...
The dancers just keep going, solving problems and quandries as they arise without stopping the flow.
They work until 6.
I went grocery shopping and it's not terribly expensive at all. Spent a little more this time because i had to get things like olive oil, balsamic, salt, peps...
I cooked some chicks and made my lovely salad.
I'm trying to stay up until 10pm when I Skype Gary my sponsor every night.
APAP was good. I talked to some very nice presenters who although their venues are too big for us they gave me some great advice and words of encouragement about our work and you guys in particular. You guys really blew it out of the water at the Joyce.
One gentleman is interested in giving us a residency in Queens for the new piece. Yay!
Bill asked me again today if I'd bring him a DVD and so I will give him the Joyce DVD of Shady which I just got back from the editors.
I have to tell you that I am very comfortable showing it to him because not only do I love the piece but you guys are just so wonderful in it. You're just like these guys here. Truly world class.
This first day solidifies for me that we are going in the right direction. Our method is sound and strong and we're going to continue to make good work together. Bill get's out of his own way better than I do and I will be here learning as I watch him compose.
I love you all.
I'm so fucking happy I'm actually tearing up a bit as I write this.
I am so grateful for my incredible life and the amazing people in it.
Peace and Love

Thursday 1/12/12
Hi All,
Yesterday was another great day.
Bill wasn't in so it was class with this woman Christine who is lovely. Great ballet class.
Then it was just playtime the rest of the day.
I'm just floating around the huge room very ADD, learning a bit of rep here, a phrase from something there and playing with this "unfamiliar" concept here and there.
I had a wonderful talk with the company dramaturg, Freya. she helped me define what it is i will want in a dramaturg and already gave me some guidance with the new piece.
This is more than I could possibly hope for.
Every day is full of discover and learning and I'm getting back in real shape.
I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sore today I can hardly walk and it's a great way to feel.
God, that is so fucked up. We are so masochistic.
But i like it! I like the pain! (said in the voice of Carrie White's mother)
Love you all,
More to come,
P